[With the lack of something to fill in as to why he can't talk to Jaskier now, Jaskier easily suspects Dylan isn't all that busy in reality. But that's alright, he supposes. He can understand wanting a little more time first because it really isn't his intention to ambush Dylan and if that makes it easier to talk later, then that's not such a bad thing. So, he nods a little in both acknowledgment and understanding, and remains unoffended by the very clumsy way Dylan tries to avoid any conversation. Rather than turning and walking away, Jaskier makes the small trek up the stairs until he's on the step just below Dylan and into his own hand, Jaskier takes the hand that was just anxiously rubbing Dylan's arm.]
I'll look for you after then. [Leaning up slightly, he presses a kiss to Dylan's cheek.] Text me if you're not going to be in your room, yeah?
[Jaskier smiles at him then, giving his hand a light squeeze before he turns and makes his way back down the stairs. He holds Dylan's hand until the physical distance caused by his descent makes their fingertips slip from one another. The sudden, unprompted affection may appear somewhat of an ambush of its own. Perhaps it is. Jaskier wouldn't exactly have much of an argument to provide for why it's not, after all. But Jaskier would prefer it be considered an ambush of its own than allowing Dylan to stew on whatever he imagines Jaskier might say or do later. Or, well... Jaskier imagines Dylan is liable to still stew. But hopefully, a touch to the hand and a kiss to his cheek could provide him with a little relief. Maybe Dylan can be simply nervous rather than dreading what was to come or fearing the worst.]
[ His eyes linger on the hand that's captured by Jaskier and he doesn't lift it when Jaskier presses that kiss to his cheek. Does he get a choice in the matter here? What if he chose to wallow in misery for another night? His shoulders sag and it takes until Jaskier's already a few steps away, the break in their touch, for Dylan to work up enough courage to say what he has to say. ]
Look. You don't have to keep hanging around me out of pity or something. Like some gangly stray mutt you keep feeding. Only turns out that gangly mutt is pretty fucking feral and will definitely bite the hand that feeds it. And why stop at the hand when it can go for the throat, too?
[ He gets a bit queasy thinking about it and grasps the banister to steady himself. ]
I'm a monster, Jaskier. And maybe I killed some things, too. I don't know. There were a whole lot of parts and blood around that clearing when I came to in the morning.
[ And Dylan wasn't exactly keen to ask Geralt for the deets, mostly because part of him didn't want to know what happened. Ignorance in this case was bliss. But ignorance also ate at his conscience for the past couple days and haunted his dreams at night. He sighs. ]
[Jaskier stops when Dylan speaks, looking back at him over his shoulder. He listens patiently, giving Dylan his full attention. Little changes in Jaskier's expression, too. There is no surprise because he already anticipated something along these lines would come up. He isn't angry. He isn't shocked. And he doesn't look at Dylan with an ounce of pity. Once Dylan's done speaking, Jaskier turns himself around properly to face Dylan.]
Well. Let's get one thing straight, shall we? You, good sir, are not a monster. [Jaskier holds up a hand.] Before you go accusing me of deluding myself, I know. I know. [His hand drops back down to his side.] It's arguable that for twelve perhaps even thirteen nights out of the year, you might very well be considered a monster. But a monster wouldn't have called me that night, Dylan. [Jaskier starts walking up the steps to rejoin Dylan again.] A monster wouldn't have been trying to put as much distance between himself and everyone in this hotel.
[This time, Jaskier stops on the same step as Dylan, but rather than taking his hand, Jaskier caresses his cheek to encourage Dylan to look at Jaskier rather than averting his eyes.]
A monster wouldn't blanch at the thought of hurting me or anyone else.
There may now be one night a month that I don't particularly wish to be in the same room as you. And I do wish you didn't have to go through all of this because it isn't fair that you should. But nothing else has changed. [Jaskier takes his hand from Dylan's cheek to clap him on the shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.] So, whatever little arguments you've managed to construct over the past few days, let me go ahead and tell you, there isn't any point in saying them to me.
Because you, my dear cad, made me fall in love with you. That means unless you intend to tell me to fuck off, I'm not going anywhere. And even then, I'm not sure you'll have much luck with that. [Jaskier looks away from Dylan for a moment as his expression shifts to one of mild disgust.] I mean, if Jazzybear hasn't managed to scare me off, I don't know what possibly could.
[ Dylan isn't much of a crier. Even when that night back home became it's most terrifying, he didn't shed a tear. He supposes he was more in a perpetual state of shock and survival for it to really count against him. But in general, he's not the sort to be moved to tears -- not out of coldness but just because he'd rather smile when moved, feel immense joy with a warmth in his chest and a light in his eyes. And yet when Jaskier touches his cheek with unflinching hesitation and asserts he's not a monster, there's an unfamiliar sting in the back of his eyes. A sting that causes his lips to purse and his lashes to fall rapidly.
He's not sure where he falls on the topic. Yeah, he'd like to believe he was only a monster one night out of the month, but the truth is -- it's always a part of him. When he can't go swimming or take a bath because he's afraid to be submerged in water. When he touches anything silver and gets burned. When he gets hurt and heals immediately. The curse is always there. It doesn't only make itself known one night of the month. But it does mean a lot that Jaskier can look at him and not see a monster.
A breath escapes him and he glances to the side only for that gaze to immediately snap back toward Jaskier as he just -- did he just...was that--? Did he say he fell in love with Dylan? Was it a joke? Dylan always joked about making Jaskier love him, so maybe it was a joke to make him feel better? Or maybe.....
No. It couldn't be, right? ]
Uh, excuse you. Jazzybear is cute and the only thing you should be doing is thanking me for that adorable nickname.
[ A smile faintly touches his lips before he takes a step forward to slide his arms beneath Jaskier's, elbows bending so his fingers can rest on Jaskier's shoulders from behind. It's not an embrace of affection -- arms wrapped around one another. It's an embrace of caution and fear and tentativeness. It's an embrace Jaskier could easily escape if he's really not comfortable. But it's also one that tips his hand -- that shows how afraid Dylan is and even a request for protection. Even if there's not much Jaskier can do, maybe he can still keep Dylan from losing himself. ]
Sorry. I'm keeping you, aren't I?
[ But even as he says it, he doesn't make a move to let go of Jaskier, chin settling on his shoulder. ]
[As Dylan moves in and his hands settle on Jaskier's shoulders, Jaskier's hand at Dylan's shoulder releases it to wrap that arm around his shoulders while his other arm settles firmly around Dylan's middle. He turns his head just enough to give Dylan's temple a quick peck before resting his head against Dylan's.]
They can wait.
[Much like Dylan, there isn't really any attempt to let him go. He isn't trying to rush Dylan through the embrace, but rather allowing him to take shelter there as long as he needs it. And he needs it. Jaskier knows without question our doubt that Dylan really needs it. The look of barely contained tears in his eyes when Jaskier refused to accept the notion that he ought to keep his distance spoke to Dylan's fears and the pain of all this. If Jaskier could take it away with this embrace, he would. But Jaskier knows he doesn't have any ability to help with this. Still, he talks to Dylan about possibilities, trying to bolster a little more hope within him about his future and that this curse doesn't need to define him or his life.]
I'm not sure how much can ultimately be done to end your curse since it's a bit different from the cases of lycanthropy back home, but Geralt says that every curse has a condition for breaking them. So, don't you start giving up on yourself to this curse just yet. We can talk more with Geralt about it sometime. Or Yennefer, if you like. She's a... Ah, well, she's incredibly terrifying. I cannot emphasize that enough. But she's a very powerful and skilled sorceress. Even if she can't figure out a cure, she could perhaps make like a proper witch and find a potion that might weaken you or something on the nights you're going to transform and make you less of a danger.
But regardless, no matter what happens from today forward, no more talk of abandoning you, yeah? I'm not going anywhere.
[ Dylan's willing to accept the help of Jaskier's companions. He's not so married to the belief that his curse is a certain way and there's no other way around breaking it. Laura might be, but she would probably also be open to at least looking for an alternative. But his hopes aren't so high -- which is maybe a byproduct of feeling so down in the aftermath or maybe just him being a realist. For a while, he says nothing and soaks in the warmth of this embrace, a balm to soothe his broken spirit. ]
I need you to make me a promise then, Jaskier.
[ Slowly, reluctantly, Dylan inches back so he can meet Jaskier's gaze. His expression is uncharacteristically somber because this is the thing Dylan fears the most. This is the thing that will make him a monster more than the transformation itself. He pulls in a shaky breath. ]
You can't let me hurt anyone. Whether that's finding a place for me to chain myself up or calling Geralt up to stand guard or even one of Yennefer's potions. If I wake up and find a mangled body that I was responsible for...I don't think I could take it.
[Jaskier purses his lips a little at the requested promise. It's not that he doesn't want to make the promise. Even without Dylan emphasizing it to be as important as he is now, Jaskier knows how important it is. Were their positions reversed, Jaskier would probably plead with Dylan to make the same promise. But the trouble is perhaps less with the promise itself and more where they are. If there is one thing that Jaskier's learned in his time here, it's that Hell does eventually take matters into its own hands. Whatever it is you might be trying to avoid or run from, it will find a way to dig it out. There is simply no reason to think this might be an exception.]
[And yet, even knowing that reality, Jaskier doesn't want to crush Dylan's tenuous hope either. Jaskier doesn't know what better choice in this situation is and although he doesn't act upon it, Jaskier feels the impulse to hold onto Dylan tighter as he's weighing it out. But then again, perhaps because of that impulse, he knows what the better choice is after all. A pretty lie may feel better in the moment, but what happens if what Jaskier fears could happen comes to pass? What if this place leaves them in a situation where Dylan loses control without warning and there isn't enough time to put up any sort of barrier between himself and others? The lie won't have meant anything then. If anything, it can only make that worse.]
I'll do everything that I can, Dylan. I promise. As long as I can help it, I won't let you hurt anyone.
[It's not the exact promise that Dylan was necessarily asking him to make, but it's the most honest version of it. If they can figure something else besides running blindly into the woods for the upcoming cycle, then that will be a good first step. They can start to figure something out beyond that for when Hell does inevitably say fuck it to whatever carefully laid plans they have.]
We'll do whatever it takes.
[Including Geralt taking on the grim task of putting Dylan down if that's what ends up being needed. But Dylan already knows that or he wouldn't have called the other night and asked for Jaskier to send him.]
[ It's not the promise Dylan wants, no. But even he recognizes the impossibility of what he's asking Jaskier. And while Dylan would hardly place any of the blame on Jaskier if there turned out to be little he could do, he can understand why Jaskier would not want to commit to a promise he can only try his best to uphold in a place that tends to make sure everyone gets their fair share of suffering. He offers a smile, faint and appreciative. Even this much means a lot. Jaskier owes him nothing, and yet he's done nothing but try to be there ever since Dylan called him that night. ]
Thank you.
[ He steps in and plants a kiss on the side of Jaskier's cheek. A moment of affection, plain and simple. It's chaste and light and delicate as thin glass. Dylan seems only a hair's breadth away from shattering like said glass as well. He steps into his own space again, opposite fingers rubbing at the edge of his palm where the bite had originally happened. ]
Anyway, I kept you long enough. There are more important people than me. Go on and be your sexy rocker self. I'll be in my room if you still plan on stopping by later. I'd come to your show, but.
[ He swallows, eyes flicking toward the top of the stairs. ]
I don't like.... Being out. For long. Since that night.
[There is, of course, a part of Jaskier that wants to push Dylan. It's not like him to be so withdrawn and reclusive, and it would do him good to start reclaiming what was more his norm. And Jaskier would like to think he perhaps felt safe enough around Jaskier that even if he was in a small crowd, it wouldn't be so terrible. That perhaps he could just lose himself in the music and not think about all of that for a little while. But Jaskier also recognizes that may simply be too much too soon right now. In fact, it most likely is and regardless of how safe he might feel with Jaskier, that's not going to be enough to counteract whatever else is going on in his head.]
[No, they'll need to start somewhere and with something much smaller to build that confidence back up. So, Jaskier smiles in his understanding and shakes his head a little to brush away that potential apology that might be lingering in Dylan's mind for not attending. He reaches out for the hand rubbing at the edge of his palm.]
I'll walk you to your room.
[It's more a suggestion than it is Jaskier telling Dylan that's exactly what he's going to do. Whether Dylan finds it a ridiculous offer or simply wants to go on his own or whatever it may be, Jaskier's not opposed to letting him go by himself. The point really is more that he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to, and Jaskier doesn't find it absurd that he might want the company for such a short distance.]
[And also that his audience isn't more important right now.]
[ He looks down when Jaskier reaches for his hand and interrupts the self-soothing gesture. To the offer, his expression softens somewhat. Dylan gives over his hand and nods. ]
Sure. Yeah. If you want...
[ If you want, he says...in a way that suggests it's definitely what Dylan wants. Just without the confession that he actually needs someone. Because he needs to be strong here. And he has been. He's been so strong when he's been collecting a series of locks and installing them on his door. When he's been bolting them all shut at night and triple checking they were done before daring to sleep. When he stays in bed the entire day, wondering if the stomach ache he feels is anxiety or the curse and avoids going out to get some food just in case it's the latter. He's been strong because he kept this struggle entirely to himself. Isn't that what brave people do?
And so he heads back to the top of the stairs and leads the way up the relatively small stretch of hall that would take them to his room. Room 209. A sanctuary and a prison. ]
Well. Here it is.
[ And Dylan still doesn't let go of Jaskier even so. ]
[Just as was implied, Jaskier doesn't seem to have many if any thoughts about Dylan wanting Jaskier to stay with him the short walk up the rest of the stairs and to the door to his room. There's not a single comment from Jaskier about it as he follows, keeping a firm but gentle hold on his hand. When they come to a stop in front of Dylan's room, he hums his own acknowledgment to Dylan's, but otherwise allows them to linger there for a bit longer without really saying or doing anything admittedly out of a touch of indecision.]
[He suspects that Dylan would truly like for Jaskier to stay, but that he won't say it. It leads Jaskier to wonder then if Jaskier were to make the offer if Dylan would take him up on it. Some part of him thinks Dylan wouldn't with how much he's been consistently referring to Jaskier needing to be elsewhere right now. At the same time though, maybe it really is just the asking that's the difficult part. Using their joined hands, Jaskier pulls Dylan in closer. His free arm warps itself around Dylan's middle as he rests his chin on his shoulder.]
I'd like to stay.
[There's no unspoken but hanging in the air. It's an offer just like the last and entirely up to Dylan if he wants to take Jaskier up on it or not. Either way, he will come back as he said he would.]
[ The embrace somehow catches him by surprise -- even if it's the expected way they were bound to part ways. A normal thing between them to share an embrace when one is about to leave. Except Jaskier doesn't leave. He suggests the opposite and Dylan's lips part. He hadn't seen anyone since that night except Ronan. And that was still more the same night since Dylan just happened to run into him on the walk back.
His instinct is to come up with a million and one excuses. Jaskier has a performance to get to. People would be disappointed if he didn't show up. And Dylan's room is a mess. But the way Jaskier holds him, there's something solid and supportive about it. He's here to keep Dylan from breaking and pushing Jaskier away would only prolong it. Even if Jaskier went to perform, he was going to come back. So if he's fine with skipping the performance entirely, Dylan will accept. ]
You don't have to...
[ His voice barely a whisper. It's just one last ditch attempt to give him an out. But after a moment, he nods and admits: ]
But I'd like that.
[ His smile is small as he turns in order to fit his key in the door and open it up. And then he turns back toward Jaskier to await his decision -- a decision he's pretty sure he knows what the answer to it will be. ]
[Jaskier's answer is exactly what Dylan predicts it to be. No matter how much Jaskier thrives on an audience and lives for sharing his art with the world, nothing and no one could possibly be more important than the people he loves and cares about. It's arguably not even a choice with how quickly and easily Jaskier makes it, following Dylan into the suite and then into his room.]
[He notices all the locks on the door right away, of course. They are, after all, more or less impossible to miss. But Jaskier doesn't spare them any more than a passing glance and says nothing about them. Dylan likely already knows that those locks wouldn't be able to hold him if he were to transform in his room. And even if they could, the door itself wouldn't likely stand up to a werewolf at his full strength. But it's likely made him feel better, so there's little point in bringing it up and taking that small comfort away from him.]
[Similarly, Jaskier says nothing to the degree to which Dylan's room certainly feels lived in. While it's not exactly what Jaskier would qualify to be messy per se, there's a certain something that's difficult to articulate in its arrangement that speaks to it being occupied more hours of the day than not. Or perhaps that's not true at all, Jaskier thinks to himself briefly. It could be just his assumption is coloring his perception of the room, leading him to assume that's the case when that couldn't be further from the truth. Regardless, Jaskier says nothing about it and settles in with Dylan for several hours.]
[Several hours that are spent talking about nothing particularly important and curled up close with one another. At some point, Jaskier pulls out his lute and, with Dylan in his lap, teaches him a few chords. It's a little bit of a trick as it turns out since Dylan teased before he would be absolutely certain never to cover one of Jaskier's songs, but while playfully drilling Dylan on the chords, Jaskier puts them in the correct order for Toss A Coin and has Dylan play it again and again until it reaches both tempo and recognition. Jaskier allows Dylan the freedom to fiddle around with the lute for a while longer, letting him experiment with the sound until things fall quiet again for a time.]
[Jaskier stays as long as he can with Dylan, but there comes the point where it's time for him to go because there are other promises that need upholding and that means he can't spend the night tonight. But he leaves with a kiss and a gentle reminder to not be such a stranger. Whether it's a simple text or spending time together, Jaskier makes it clear he wants Dylan around. At Dylan's pace as he feels ready for it, of course, but still around. Jaskier lingers for a few minutes longer much as he often does since he's actually quite terrible at even temporary goodbyes. But it allows Dylan to stay in the shelter and safety of his arms for just a little longer before Jaskier really does have to go. With one more kiss to Dylan's cheek and a promise to be there if Dylan needs him for anything, Jaskier takes his leave.]
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I'll look for you after then. [Leaning up slightly, he presses a kiss to Dylan's cheek.] Text me if you're not going to be in your room, yeah?
[Jaskier smiles at him then, giving his hand a light squeeze before he turns and makes his way back down the stairs. He holds Dylan's hand until the physical distance caused by his descent makes their fingertips slip from one another. The sudden, unprompted affection may appear somewhat of an ambush of its own. Perhaps it is. Jaskier wouldn't exactly have much of an argument to provide for why it's not, after all. But Jaskier would prefer it be considered an ambush of its own than allowing Dylan to stew on whatever he imagines Jaskier might say or do later. Or, well... Jaskier imagines Dylan is liable to still stew. But hopefully, a touch to the hand and a kiss to his cheek could provide him with a little relief. Maybe Dylan can be simply nervous rather than dreading what was to come or fearing the worst.]
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Look. You don't have to keep hanging around me out of pity or something. Like some gangly stray mutt you keep feeding. Only turns out that gangly mutt is pretty fucking feral and will definitely bite the hand that feeds it. And why stop at the hand when it can go for the throat, too?
[ He gets a bit queasy thinking about it and grasps the banister to steady himself. ]
I'm a monster, Jaskier. And maybe I killed some things, too. I don't know. There were a whole lot of parts and blood around that clearing when I came to in the morning.
[ And Dylan wasn't exactly keen to ask Geralt for the deets, mostly because part of him didn't want to know what happened. Ignorance in this case was bliss. But ignorance also ate at his conscience for the past couple days and haunted his dreams at night. He sighs. ]
Who wants to be around something like that?
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Well. Let's get one thing straight, shall we? You, good sir, are not a monster. [Jaskier holds up a hand.] Before you go accusing me of deluding myself, I know. I know. [His hand drops back down to his side.] It's arguable that for twelve perhaps even thirteen nights out of the year, you might very well be considered a monster. But a monster wouldn't have called me that night, Dylan. [Jaskier starts walking up the steps to rejoin Dylan again.] A monster wouldn't have been trying to put as much distance between himself and everyone in this hotel.
[This time, Jaskier stops on the same step as Dylan, but rather than taking his hand, Jaskier caresses his cheek to encourage Dylan to look at Jaskier rather than averting his eyes.]
A monster wouldn't blanch at the thought of hurting me or anyone else.
There may now be one night a month that I don't particularly wish to be in the same room as you. And I do wish you didn't have to go through all of this because it isn't fair that you should. But nothing else has changed. [Jaskier takes his hand from Dylan's cheek to clap him on the shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.] So, whatever little arguments you've managed to construct over the past few days, let me go ahead and tell you, there isn't any point in saying them to me.
Because you, my dear cad, made me fall in love with you. That means unless you intend to tell me to fuck off, I'm not going anywhere. And even then, I'm not sure you'll have much luck with that. [Jaskier looks away from Dylan for a moment as his expression shifts to one of mild disgust.] I mean, if Jazzybear hasn't managed to scare me off, I don't know what possibly could.
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He's not sure where he falls on the topic. Yeah, he'd like to believe he was only a monster one night out of the month, but the truth is -- it's always a part of him. When he can't go swimming or take a bath because he's afraid to be submerged in water. When he touches anything silver and gets burned. When he gets hurt and heals immediately. The curse is always there. It doesn't only make itself known one night of the month. But it does mean a lot that Jaskier can look at him and not see a monster.
A breath escapes him and he glances to the side only for that gaze to immediately snap back toward Jaskier as he just -- did he just...was that--? Did he say he fell in love with Dylan? Was it a joke? Dylan always joked about making Jaskier love him, so maybe it was a joke to make him feel better? Or maybe.....
No. It couldn't be, right? ]
Uh, excuse you. Jazzybear is cute and the only thing you should be doing is thanking me for that adorable nickname.
[ A smile faintly touches his lips before he takes a step forward to slide his arms beneath Jaskier's, elbows bending so his fingers can rest on Jaskier's shoulders from behind. It's not an embrace of affection -- arms wrapped around one another. It's an embrace of caution and fear and tentativeness. It's an embrace Jaskier could easily escape if he's really not comfortable. But it's also one that tips his hand -- that shows how afraid Dylan is and even a request for protection. Even if there's not much Jaskier can do, maybe he can still keep Dylan from losing himself. ]
Sorry. I'm keeping you, aren't I?
[ But even as he says it, he doesn't make a move to let go of Jaskier, chin settling on his shoulder. ]
no subject
They can wait.
[Much like Dylan, there isn't really any attempt to let him go. He isn't trying to rush Dylan through the embrace, but rather allowing him to take shelter there as long as he needs it. And he needs it. Jaskier knows without question our doubt that Dylan really needs it. The look of barely contained tears in his eyes when Jaskier refused to accept the notion that he ought to keep his distance spoke to Dylan's fears and the pain of all this. If Jaskier could take it away with this embrace, he would. But Jaskier knows he doesn't have any ability to help with this. Still, he talks to Dylan about possibilities, trying to bolster a little more hope within him about his future and that this curse doesn't need to define him or his life.]
I'm not sure how much can ultimately be done to end your curse since it's a bit different from the cases of lycanthropy back home, but Geralt says that every curse has a condition for breaking them. So, don't you start giving up on yourself to this curse just yet. We can talk more with Geralt about it sometime. Or Yennefer, if you like. She's a... Ah, well, she's incredibly terrifying. I cannot emphasize that enough. But she's a very powerful and skilled sorceress. Even if she can't figure out a cure, she could perhaps make like a proper witch and find a potion that might weaken you or something on the nights you're going to transform and make you less of a danger.
But regardless, no matter what happens from today forward, no more talk of abandoning you, yeah? I'm not going anywhere.
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I need you to make me a promise then, Jaskier.
[ Slowly, reluctantly, Dylan inches back so he can meet Jaskier's gaze. His expression is uncharacteristically somber because this is the thing Dylan fears the most. This is the thing that will make him a monster more than the transformation itself. He pulls in a shaky breath. ]
You can't let me hurt anyone. Whether that's finding a place for me to chain myself up or calling Geralt up to stand guard or even one of Yennefer's potions. If I wake up and find a mangled body that I was responsible for...I don't think I could take it.
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[And yet, even knowing that reality, Jaskier doesn't want to crush Dylan's tenuous hope either. Jaskier doesn't know what better choice in this situation is and although he doesn't act upon it, Jaskier feels the impulse to hold onto Dylan tighter as he's weighing it out. But then again, perhaps because of that impulse, he knows what the better choice is after all. A pretty lie may feel better in the moment, but what happens if what Jaskier fears could happen comes to pass? What if this place leaves them in a situation where Dylan loses control without warning and there isn't enough time to put up any sort of barrier between himself and others? The lie won't have meant anything then. If anything, it can only make that worse.]
I'll do everything that I can, Dylan. I promise. As long as I can help it, I won't let you hurt anyone.
[It's not the exact promise that Dylan was necessarily asking him to make, but it's the most honest version of it. If they can figure something else besides running blindly into the woods for the upcoming cycle, then that will be a good first step. They can start to figure something out beyond that for when Hell does inevitably say fuck it to whatever carefully laid plans they have.]
We'll do whatever it takes.
[Including Geralt taking on the grim task of putting Dylan down if that's what ends up being needed. But Dylan already knows that or he wouldn't have called the other night and asked for Jaskier to send him.]
no subject
Thank you.
[ He steps in and plants a kiss on the side of Jaskier's cheek. A moment of affection, plain and simple. It's chaste and light and delicate as thin glass. Dylan seems only a hair's breadth away from shattering like said glass as well. He steps into his own space again, opposite fingers rubbing at the edge of his palm where the bite had originally happened. ]
Anyway, I kept you long enough. There are more important people than me. Go on and be your sexy rocker self. I'll be in my room if you still plan on stopping by later. I'd come to your show, but.
[ He swallows, eyes flicking toward the top of the stairs. ]
I don't like.... Being out. For long. Since that night.
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[No, they'll need to start somewhere and with something much smaller to build that confidence back up. So, Jaskier smiles in his understanding and shakes his head a little to brush away that potential apology that might be lingering in Dylan's mind for not attending. He reaches out for the hand rubbing at the edge of his palm.]
I'll walk you to your room.
[It's more a suggestion than it is Jaskier telling Dylan that's exactly what he's going to do. Whether Dylan finds it a ridiculous offer or simply wants to go on his own or whatever it may be, Jaskier's not opposed to letting him go by himself. The point really is more that he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to, and Jaskier doesn't find it absurd that he might want the company for such a short distance.]
[And also that his audience isn't more important right now.]
no subject
Sure. Yeah. If you want...
[ If you want, he says...in a way that suggests it's definitely what Dylan wants. Just without the confession that he actually needs someone. Because he needs to be strong here. And he has been. He's been so strong when he's been collecting a series of locks and installing them on his door. When he's been bolting them all shut at night and triple checking they were done before daring to sleep. When he stays in bed the entire day, wondering if the stomach ache he feels is anxiety or the curse and avoids going out to get some food just in case it's the latter. He's been strong because he kept this struggle entirely to himself. Isn't that what brave people do?
And so he heads back to the top of the stairs and leads the way up the relatively small stretch of hall that would take them to his room. Room 209. A sanctuary and a prison. ]
Well. Here it is.
[ And Dylan still doesn't let go of Jaskier even so. ]
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[He suspects that Dylan would truly like for Jaskier to stay, but that he won't say it. It leads Jaskier to wonder then if Jaskier were to make the offer if Dylan would take him up on it. Some part of him thinks Dylan wouldn't with how much he's been consistently referring to Jaskier needing to be elsewhere right now. At the same time though, maybe it really is just the asking that's the difficult part. Using their joined hands, Jaskier pulls Dylan in closer. His free arm warps itself around Dylan's middle as he rests his chin on his shoulder.]
I'd like to stay.
[There's no unspoken but hanging in the air. It's an offer just like the last and entirely up to Dylan if he wants to take Jaskier up on it or not. Either way, he will come back as he said he would.]
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His instinct is to come up with a million and one excuses. Jaskier has a performance to get to. People would be disappointed if he didn't show up. And Dylan's room is a mess. But the way Jaskier holds him, there's something solid and supportive about it. He's here to keep Dylan from breaking and pushing Jaskier away would only prolong it. Even if Jaskier went to perform, he was going to come back. So if he's fine with skipping the performance entirely, Dylan will accept. ]
You don't have to...
[ His voice barely a whisper. It's just one last ditch attempt to give him an out. But after a moment, he nods and admits: ]
But I'd like that.
[ His smile is small as he turns in order to fit his key in the door and open it up. And then he turns back toward Jaskier to await his decision -- a decision he's pretty sure he knows what the answer to it will be. ]
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[He notices all the locks on the door right away, of course. They are, after all, more or less impossible to miss. But Jaskier doesn't spare them any more than a passing glance and says nothing about them. Dylan likely already knows that those locks wouldn't be able to hold him if he were to transform in his room. And even if they could, the door itself wouldn't likely stand up to a werewolf at his full strength. But it's likely made him feel better, so there's little point in bringing it up and taking that small comfort away from him.]
[Similarly, Jaskier says nothing to the degree to which Dylan's room certainly feels lived in. While it's not exactly what Jaskier would qualify to be messy per se, there's a certain something that's difficult to articulate in its arrangement that speaks to it being occupied more hours of the day than not. Or perhaps that's not true at all, Jaskier thinks to himself briefly. It could be just his assumption is coloring his perception of the room, leading him to assume that's the case when that couldn't be further from the truth. Regardless, Jaskier says nothing about it and settles in with Dylan for several hours.]
[Several hours that are spent talking about nothing particularly important and curled up close with one another. At some point, Jaskier pulls out his lute and, with Dylan in his lap, teaches him a few chords. It's a little bit of a trick as it turns out since Dylan teased before he would be absolutely certain never to cover one of Jaskier's songs, but while playfully drilling Dylan on the chords, Jaskier puts them in the correct order for Toss A Coin and has Dylan play it again and again until it reaches both tempo and recognition. Jaskier allows Dylan the freedom to fiddle around with the lute for a while longer, letting him experiment with the sound until things fall quiet again for a time.]
[Jaskier stays as long as he can with Dylan, but there comes the point where it's time for him to go because there are other promises that need upholding and that means he can't spend the night tonight. But he leaves with a kiss and a gentle reminder to not be such a stranger. Whether it's a simple text or spending time together, Jaskier makes it clear he wants Dylan around. At Dylan's pace as he feels ready for it, of course, but still around. Jaskier lingers for a few minutes longer much as he often does since he's actually quite terrible at even temporary goodbyes. But it allows Dylan to stay in the shelter and safety of his arms for just a little longer before Jaskier really does have to go. With one more kiss to Dylan's cheek and a promise to be there if Dylan needs him for anything, Jaskier takes his leave.]